Up In Arms Tour / Switchfoot

As I said before, last Sunday I got to go to a Switchfoot concert in VA. It was awesome to see that neither the band nor the venue prohibited camera, so I got the chance to record their concert, and share mostly with my old brazilian friends on www.dotgospel.com.

I've posted about 8 out of the 12 videos so far, below is the playlist:

Budget

I hate money. I really do. I wish I never had to deal with it. I don't want more of it, I am satisfied with what I have, I must find the motivation within me to manage my life and my family's life a little better w/o getting 'attached' to the money.

You know, I will go even further, this motivation needs to come from God, all I have, I believe is because He is giving me the resources... I just need to get serious with what I do with His resources.

The amount of money I waste on all the things I despise 'in writing' is ridiculous. Granted, the economy isn't helping, gas pricing is nothing short than ridiculous, food is following the same path...

It is time to step up and do something...

Dear God,

All I want when it comes to money in my life is to receive from You my daily bread. Teach me to stick to it.

Keep me from all the shiny gadgets, unnecessary food, wasteful entertainments of this world.

Teach me how to invest on the things that matter. Teach me how to provide for my kids. Teach me how to be prepared for when life comes knocking on my door.

Teach me how to be like the ant in Proverbs 6.

Amen

10950

Almost 11 thousand days alive, that's a pretty sweet milestone, it makes it sound more exciting than saying that now I am 30 years old. So, may be when someone asks me, how old are you? I will say: Almost 11 thousand days old! :-)

The past 2 or 3 days have been very busy, which is mostly good. I've had the chance to go to a Switchfoot concert in VA with a couple of guys from work, where I think a new bond among us came out of the 8 hours stuck together in the car... I am looking forward to seeing our friendship grow stronger, and see each one of us grow stronger towards a common goal.

Yesterday, my dear friend, Chris, stopped by Raleigh, and visited with us. I can only think of a handful of people throughout the course of my life that I have had the chance to share what goes in my disturbed mind without worrying about being judged or being offensive. The amazing thing about our friendship is that every time we get the chance to talk about stuff that really matters, we always find ourselves living parallel/related issues which always allows us to help each other out with words of wisdom (or foolishness).

We depend on each other to grow, and defying the inner most thoughts scattered around the basement of our hearts... Having him over was a great birthday present.

Failures

I've failed again. I've let them down. I've let her down. I've let him down.

It's not that I don't try, I do, I really do, but I am really good with concepts and theories, but when it comes to practical I fail miserably more often than not.

I want to apologize to you, to all of you, for not being what I want to be.
I want to ask for forgiveness for my shortcomings which are presented by my actions every time I try to do something for you.

I keep falling, I keep hurting myself, I keep hurting us, and every once in a while during a spiritually sober moment, I get the chance to look back, and think over what I did, what I said, how I acted, and I realize how inconsistent my heart, mind and body really are.

I hope I am forgiven, I hope I am given yet another chance... I won't give up as long as I have morning to wake up to.

Microblogging

If you do care, and you don't see any updates on the blog via RSS, make sure to visit the site itself: www.amorislove.com to see what's going on via Twitter.

Or subscribe to that as well: http://twitter.com/bean2

This week has been incredibly busy, tonight I have to take my kids to 2 games, one at 5:30 pm and another at 7:30 pm, there are 2 more games tomorrow as well!

Sunday, I am going to Charlottesville, VA catch Switchfoot on Tour, I am excited about that.

I've also pre-ordered Mario Kart for the Wii and the Wii Fit today!

I hope to go to 4042needs.org tomorrow and give them a hand. If you have some spare change, and want to help a ministry that provides to the poor, check them out.

It's the little things in life

With only 5 days separating me from my 30th birthday, I keep finding out more and more things about me, about life. I have to confess that these past 2-4 weeks have been really tough for me personally for a variety of reasons.

None of the reasons are really plausible reasons in the grand scheme of things or even when compared to other people's lives, but it doesn't really matter, because right now at this moment those are the things that are making my life difficult. Well, not difficult, but less exciting.

I am not going to bore anyone with what these reasons are, but things are changing, they are changing fast. I am still not sure if they are for the better or worse yet.

I am only able to find motivation on the little things... believe it or not, stopping at Hardee's in the morning by myself and getting my favorite breakfast meal is one of the highlights of my day... sad? Maybe.

Watching my kids read a book, smile, run, jump, wave, kick a soccer ball, that motivates me... it brings a smile to my face.

What else motivates me? Finding a good uncommon angle to photograph from does bring a smile to my face... anything else?

There used to be more, but I don't know where they went.

That's what she said

My favorite ongoing joke on 'The Office'

Nocturnal Angst

Like a vampire who dreads the sun
I lay right awake fearing the night
I search for a tear deep inside
With eyes like a desert yet alive

I understand the symptoms
I can't diagnose the anomaly
Is it in me? Is it me?
Maybe it is what I've become

I stare at the possibilities of tomorrow
In a night where facts are no longer relevant
I overhear silence's whisper in my ear
While embracing hope's warm certainty

That a strangers' company is welcomed
And soon the weight of exhaustion will arrive
While merging these words into a dream
Washed away in the dawn of day

Covenant

Covenant, originally uploaded by afsilva.

After the thunderstorm today, I was fortunate enough to catch this show of nature on my backyard. It reminded of:

Genesis 9:12-16

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

The Days

I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of being firstborn.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of brotherly love.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of discovering friendship.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of reaching love.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of being found.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of rebelling against the old.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of widening my horizons.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of kissing the bride.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of having a firstborn.
I miss the days, it was just you and I.
The privilege of having a newborn.

The days keep coming
and I keep missing them.

Back to the Basics

My good old Samsung NV10 has arrived today. The two photos below are my first with the new-old camera.

Back to the Basics, originally uploaded by afsilva.

Day 200: Back to the Basics, originally uploaded by afsilva.

Do Not Worry

In our culture (inside and outside the church), this is possibly one of our biggest problems. Most of us don't believe nor practice what Jesus told us...

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

Can you imagine a life without worry, a life without stress? A life without greed? A life where we trust God to fulfill our needs.

It goes against everything this culture (inside and outside the church) holds 'sacred'.

It sounds 'unAmerican' doesn't it?

I wonder why?

Edward Burtynsky

Now for a real photographer, check out the interesting work of Edward Burtynsky.



I came across his work by watching Manufactured Landscapes - fantastic! I highly recommend it, if you have any curiosity about cultures, industries and photography.

A bit more on my photography

comedy vs tragedy, originally uploaded by afsilva.

Today I got an email from a flickr user thanking me for using Creative Commons on my photos. The user wants to use my photo in a "published article in a non profit environmental organizations members paper".

A few months ago, a student from Taiwan asked me for permission to use my 'Checkered Floor' photo.



Last week, my wife submitted my 'B&W Drop' to a photography contest at her company for Earth Day.



Next week, Red Hat will be doing a special event where employees from all over the world will be photographing a day at the office, I can't wait!

PS - I forgot to mention, that I am not getting the Samsung NV40 anymore, I actually bought a Samsung NV10, which is a camera I've had in the past and I really really loved it!

find Chuck

1. Go to http://www.google.com
2. Type: find Chuck Norris
3. Click on 'I'm Feeling Lucky'

Crumbs from the table of thoughts

Interestingly enough, after a few days of going to bed so early, and after starting the process of doing the same tonight, I found myself unable to shut the eyelids.

I still don't have much to say, but I am going to try to piece together some scattered thoughts that are laying around on the dirty floor of my soul. It may not be a perfect fit, but I just need to write some tonight.

I need God's grace, I realize more and more that everything that I do or end up not doing happens by either some sort of unhealthy fear in my life or because I want something out of it for myself. It becomes increasingly difficult for me to look back at a certain point in my life, and realize that I did that or didn't because God's love is so powerful that moves me to reflect His love to others.

I do things I don't want to do, and I end up not doing what I want to do. Just like Paul talks about in Romans 7:

14-16 I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

17-20 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23 It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24 I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

Jesus, I need you, the people in my life need you as well. I don't know how to reach them, I try to pray, but sometimes I feel it is just bouncing off the walls. Jesus, I need your grace.

Sometimes the people closest to me are the ones I feel most apart from, and I don't know what to do.

Jesus, this is a written prayer, a thought, a request, a petition. I am tired of looking for friends, I am tired of looking for churches, I am tired of looking for pastors, I am tired of looking for motivation, I am tired of looking for inspiration, I am tired of looking.

But, I am not going to give up, I believe in Your words, and I will keep seeking until the day I find. That's what I will do. I will fall, but I will get up again.

I will be found.

Amen

Few words

I haven't said much recently for a couple of reasons:

1. I have been going to bed before 10 PM during the past 3 or 4 days. I am not sure why, I am partly bored, partly numb, but mostly tired.
2. I seem to go through these cycles, that may kick once every 2 or 3 months where I don't feel like thinking about stuff, I don't feel like writing about it, I don't feel like reading... I just live. I am during living through it right now. I should be back shortly.

Stop Sucking!

Source: http://mytruenorth.org/blog/media/1/20080414-Without%20Jesus.jpg

Fantastic!

Nice!

Source: http://graphics.jsonline.com/graphics/photographer/20/20534_large.jpg

Need to say anything else?

Day 193: Billboard

Day 193: Billboard, originally uploaded by afsilva.

I have shipped my Samsung NV11 to my brother, next week the Samsung NV40 comes out. I have pre-ordered it, and I hope it will come by the end of next week.

The magic of music

This morning started out to be an out of ordinary 'annoying' morning. People trying to do things behind our back, others just trying to be pushy about stuff, others pretending you are not there.

I was starting to get a bit mad about it, until I clicked on the 'Play' button of my iTunes... the 'random' playlist was:

* Contato - Brother Simion (Brazilian dude, awesome song)

* Not to Us - Chris Tomnlin

* No One Like You - David Crowder Band

* Here Is Our King - David Crowder Band

By the third song, all my 'anger' has been dismissed. I don't know where I would be, or what I would do without the reminder in my life of what is truly important in life!

For that, I praise the Lord!

Your Love is Strong

Your Love Is Strong
by Jon Foreman

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Chorus (3x):
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

(Chorus 3x)

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

Flickr is for photos!

Flickr is for photos!, originally uploaded by afsilva.

If you haven't heard, flickr is trying to catch up to Youtube (or something)... I don't like it!

Kids do say the darnest things

(01:16:46 PM) Joanna: the teacher said she heard one of the kids ask Kevin why he was so tall
(01:17:02 PM) Joanna: so she stepped in and said "Kevin think about it, who in your family is tall?"
(01:17:09 PM) Joanna: so he says my dad
(01:17:22 PM) Joanna: and she says, yes, you must have gotten some of your daddy's genes
(01:17:43 PM) Joanna: Kevin looks at her for a minute then shakes his head and says...not really but I do have some of his socks

What is real?

A quote:

I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

--Morpheous on The Matrix

A book:

Escaping the Matrix: Setting Your Mind Free to Experience Real Life in Christ

A message:

Facing Reality.

My thought:

I've written about improving perception before, and how it affects my reality, but the book and the message above takes 'reality' a few steps further... a lot further actually.

People like to say that reality is subjective, it is how we perceive things, how we interpret things, 'it's the dialog we have with ourselves in our minds,' that still doesn't change the fact reality belongs to God. God's reality is the only real reality.

The battle of our lives, and it is certainly one of the biggest battles in my life, should be trying to conform our reality, our 'dialog with ourselves in our minds' with God's reality, because if we don't, eventually our 'reality' will crash into God's reality and the result may not be so pleasant.

I can tell myself that I am good at this or that, and that I am better at this or that... I can tell myself that I don't judge, I can tell myself that I patient, I can tell myself that I am a good person, a good husband, a good father, a good son... I can talk myself into believing pretty much anything... Yet, if everyone else around me don't see any of these things I tell myself, which one is real?

I can tell myself I love God, I can tell myself I would die for Him, I can tell myself that I a good Christian... Yet, I do absolutely nothing towards advancing God's kingdom 'on Earth as it is in Heaven.' Yet, I don't spend time with Him, Yet, I don't pray as I should, Yet, I don't love my neighbor... which one is real?

New blog plan... maybe... hopefully...

Due to the release of Google's App Engine, I've found some motivation within me to start writing a new Blog system from scratch using Django, which according to Google, it is fully compliant with its App Engine.

I tried creating an account under http://appengine.google.com/, but it is already declining users, since it is still a 'preview release.' In reality, I am not interested in creating the app under the appspot.com domain.

What I am really looking forward is for Google to integrate App Engine into Google Apps, so I can get Django apps running under the-silvas.com.

So, I will start working on the blog now, and hopefully by the time I have something useful to my satisfaction, I will have the option to upload it to the-silvas.com.

When that happens, I will be axing www.amorislove.com, and I will either have www.the-silvas.com/anderson/ or www.the-silvas.com/blog/

We will see.

In the meantime, I hope to get even more acquainted with Python and Django.

I enjoy reading about the company I work for on the news

During the past week or so Red Hat has been on the news quite a bit, I enjoy reading about it:

* Is This the Start of Red Hat 2.0?. Apr 8th, 2008.
* Red Hat taps Singapore schools for mindshare. Apr 8th, 2008.
* Red Hat Asks Federal Court To Limit Patents On Software. Apr 8th, 2008.
* Red Hat chairman sells common stock. Apr 7th, 2008.
* Red Hat gets into the fast lane. Apr 5th, 2008.
* Red Hat, Novell get more competition on servers. Apr 2nd, 2008.

Who I am?

Here is what I know about me:

* I love my wife.
* I love my kids.
* I am thankful for my job.
* I love music.
* I miss my teenage years.
* I believe Jesus is the Son of God, and I try to trust in Him, follow his teachings.
* I can speak English fairly well, taking in consideration it's not my first language.
* I have an interest in technology, specially in relation to the open source community.
* I think I do an ok job not stressing out about things, but I do complain quite a bit, and my patience is virtually non-existent.
* I hate to bargain, if I want something and I can afford it, I will pay for it.

That's about it.... everything else is up for grabs:

I am not sure what happened or when it happened, but somewhere along the line my interests have changed. I am not sure why, I don't know if it has been for the better, I don't know if things will keep changing like this, I don't know if some things will go back to the way they were.

My tastes are changing. It started with music, and then my personal interests, recently it has been some thoughts about politics, my taste in food, and even drinks...

* I went from Metal/Rock (mostly 'Christian') to Folk/Contemporary Worship.
* I didn't use to read 'Christian' books, but now some authors are really bringing out some interest in me.
* I picked up photography as a hobby.
* I stopped playing games.
* I am not into programming hardly at all, I used to be such a hardcore coder.

My ambitious have changed...

* Professionally, I want a job to pay the bills, which I have, and like I said I am thankful for... that's about it.
* Academically, I don't feel like doing any more schooling.
* The only real ambition I have is to see my kids grow, get married with fine girls, and get the chance to hang out with my grandkids, and tell them stories about 'back in the day'.
* I want to have a ministry... I want to do something that is not for me, I want to do something to help people.
* I want to keep changing, I want to keep doing things I haven't done, things like changing diets and stop drinking sodas have been quite an experience.
* I want to think outside the box.

Blah Yadda Blah Yadda Blah Yadda

- Dude, I hope everything comes back normal.

- Man, I am so tired and unmotivated today.

- Sorry, food wasn't that good.

- I failed on my goal for today.

- Your time line looks awesome. I wish I still had the patience to remotely be interested on how to set up something like that.

- Sorry.

- Thanks.

- I feel bad for you guys, but I really didn't feel like it today.

- That's right, I like their products, so what?!

- I really really don't care today.

- I hope tonight will be better.

- At least some stuff got done.

- Happy Birthday bro.

Looking ahead...

What a nice weekend it has been. I have to say that I've started enjoying my weekends more and more as time goes by...

* From Friday night, till midday yesterday I was off-line, it was a bit less than 24 hours, but with all the rain Central NC has been getting, I really was getting a bit bored.

* I've started a new book Don't Waste Your Life by John Pipper, so far OK, but not as exciting as my previous read.

* I got Metrix client/server up and running for 4042needs.org.

* I watched 3 and 1/2 movies: A Good Woman, The Kingdom, The Godfather, and 1/2 of The Godfather Part II.

* I watched about 5 episodes of 'It's always Sunny in Philadelphia'

* I watched Practice, Qualifying and the Sunday race for F1 Bahrain's Grand Prix.

* I grilled out, took the family out for lunch.

* I raced online with my friend on rfactor.

* Took my kids to Church.

* I took my wife on a date Friday night w/o kids, which is the first time we've done that over a year!!!!!

Looking ahead:

* Tomorrow is my brother's birthday.

* Tomorrow a friend needs prayer.

* Tomorrow a family member also needs prayer.

* Tomorrow I hope to be able to get a new version of rpmrebuild into Fedora 8/9.

* I have to work.

* I hope to help. I hope to be helped.

* I want to teach and be taught.

* I want have good nights of sleep.

* I want to love and be loved.

* I might have to take the kids to soccer (tomorrow and tuesday) depending on weather.

A response to a question:

A buddy of mine really wanted to know who I would vote for, if I were a citizen of this land.

Before I get to my reply to him, let me say that all 3 candidates are Senators, they all are qualified, some may have more experience than others. And, yes, everyone say that 'gender' and 'race' shouldn't be a factor, and I agree, it shouldn't, but when you look around your neighborhood, your state, this country, the whole entire world, there is no denial that they are factors. I would also add religion to the equation. With that said, here is my reply.

Here is my reply:

If I could, I would vote for Obama. I am mostly conservative in personal beliefs, but IMHO, there is something special, something grand about having a black man as the president of the US. Something revolutionary really. Something a lot of people wouldn't like. That's not the only reason, but it is a big reason... a culture shock reason.

Now as far as what 'evangelicals' would consider important factors for supporting a president, like abortion, gay rights, etc... I am more and more coming to the conclusion that those are a waste of time. For several reasons. I am not going to say them all, but here is a couple of thoughts.

Bush is against abortion, in favor of a constitutional amendment to make marriage between a man and a woman. After 8 years, has anything changed? Why would it change with Mccain? The fact is that just a president is not powerful enough to make those kind of decisions, Congress has a huge power there, and for 4 years, Bush had a majority conservative in congress... nothing really happened.

What I believe is that what you and I do, when we practice the love of Christ, not in Church or even at LU... but when we step outside our comfort zone, we can change people's heart.

Laws or a president who believes on 'the right' thing won't change the world, or even the US. To change the world, we need to go out there and really love the sinner. Like Jesus did.

Jesus refused to take on political issues, he hang out with prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers... and he never ever stood up and said: "This is against God's will, we must go against Ceaser who is destroying our country, our culture... And bring back our country the way it was with our forefathers..."

Jesus told us to love the sinner, love one another, and not fight the sinner. And making laws against sins, is not really fighting the sin. We fight sin with prayer, and love, cause the fight is against the evil spiritual powers around, not against men.

So, overall, I'd be delighted to see a little bit of MLK's dream come true, and see a black man become the next US president.

Hehe, and that's my answer.

The Promise Land

I dare you to read, meditate and absorb this post in its entirity.

Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

--U2

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I See The Promised Land

By Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
April 3, 1968
Memphis, Tennessee

This was Dr. King's last, and most prophetic , sermon. He delivered it, on the eve of his assassination, at [the Bishop Charles] Mason Temple in Memphis, Tennessee, on 3 April 1968. Mason Temple is the headquarters of the Church of God in Christ, the largest African American pentecostal denomination in the United States.

Thank you very kindly, my friends. As I listened to Ralph Abernathy in his eloquent and generous introduction and then thought about myself, I wondered who he was talking about. It's always good to have your closest friend and associate say something good about you. And Ralph is the best friend that I have in the world.

I'm delighted to see each of you here tonight in spite of a storm warning. You reveal that you are determined to go on anyhow. Something is happening in Memphis, something is happening in our world.

As you know, if I were standing at the beginning of time, with the possibility of general and panoramic view of the whole human history up to now, and the Almighty said to me, "Martin Luther King, which age would you like to live in?"-- I would take my mental flight by Egypt through, or rather across the Red Sea, through the wilderness on toward the promised land. And in spite of its magnificence, I wouldn't stop there. I would move on by Greece, and take my mind to Mount Olympus. And I would see Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Euripides and Aristophanes assembled around the Parthenon as they discussed the great and eternal issues of reality.

But I wouldn't stop there. I would go on, even to the great heyday of the Roman Empire. And I would see developments around there, through various emperors and leaders. But I wouldn't stop there. I would even come up to the day of the Renaissance, and get a quick picture of all that the Renaissance did for the cultural and esthetic life of man. But I wouldn't stop there. I would even go by the way that the man for whom I'm named had his habitat. And I would watch Martin Luther as he tacked his ninety-five theses on the door at the church in Wittenberg.

But I wouldn't stop there. I would come on up even to 1863, and watch a vacillating president by the name of Abraham Lincoln finally come to the conclusion that he had to sign the Emancipation Proclamation. But I wouldn't stop there. I would even come up the early thirties, and see a man grappling with the problems of the bankruptcy of his nation. And come with an eloquent cry that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

But I wouldn't stop there. Strangely enough, I would turn to the Almighty, and say, "If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the twentieth century, I will be happy." Now that's a strange statement to make, because the world is all messed up. The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land. Confusion all around. That's a strange statement. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century in a way that men, in some strange way, are responding--something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya: Accra, Ghana; New York City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee--the cry is always the same--"We want to be free."

And another reason that I'm happy to live in this period is that we have been forced to a point where we're going to have to grapple with the problems that men have been trying to grapple with through history, but the demands didn't force them to do it. Survival demands that we grapple with them. Men, for years now, have been talking about war and peace. But now, no longer can they just talk about it. It is no longer a choice between violence and nonviolence in this world; it's nonviolence or nonexistence.

That is where we are today. And also in the human rights revolution, if something isn't done, and in a hurry, to bring the colored peoples of the world out of their long years of poverty, their long years of hurt and neglect, the whole world is doomed. Now, I'm just happy that God has allowed me to live in this period, to see what is unfolding. And I'm happy that he's allowed me to be in Memphis.

I can remember, I can remember when Negroes were just going around as Ralph has said, so often, scratching where they didn't itch, and laughing when they were not tickled. But that day is all over. We mean business now, and we are determined to gain our rightful place in God's world.

And that's all this whole thing is about. We aren't engaged in any negative protest and in any negative arguments with anybody. We are saying that we are determined to be men. We are determined to be people. We are saying that we are God's children. And that we don't have to live like we are forced to live.

Now, what does all of this mean in this great period of history? It means that we've got to stay together. We've got to stay together and maintain unity. You know, whenever Pharaoh wanted to prolong the period of slavery in Egypt, he had a favorite, favorite formula for doing it. What was that? He kept the slaves fighting among themselves. But whenever the slaves get together, something happens in Pharaoh's court, and he cannot hold the slaves in slavery. When the slaves get together, that's the beginning of getting out of slavery. Now let us maintain unity.

Secondly, let us keep the issues where they are. The issue is injustice. The issue is the refusal of Memphis to be fair and honest in its dealings with its public servants, who happen to be sanitation workers. Now, we've got to keep attention on that. That's always the problem with a little violence. You know what happened the other day, and the press dealt only with the window-breaking. I read the articles. They very seldom got around to mentioning the fact that one thousand, three hundred sanitation workers were on strike, and that Memphis is not being fair to them, and that Mayor Loeb is in dire need of a doctor. They didn't get around to that.

Now we're going to march again, and we've got to march again, in order to put the issue where it is supposed to be. And force everybody to see that there are thirteen hundred of God's children here suffering, sometimes going hungry, going through dark and dreary nights wondering how this thing is going to come out. That's the issue. And we've got to say to the nation: we know it's coming out. For when people get caught up with that which is right and they are willing to sacrifice for it, there is no stopping point short of victory.

We aren't going to let any mace stop us. We are masters in our nonviolent movement in disarming police forces; they don't know what to do. I've seen them so often. I remember in Birmingham, Alabama, when we were in that majestic struggle there we would move out of the 16th Street Baptist Church day after day; by the hundreds we would move out. And Bull Connor would tell them to send the dogs forth and they did come; but we just went before the dogs singing, "Ain't gonna let nobody turn me round." Bull Connor next would say, "Turn the fire hoses on." And as I said to you the other night, Bull Connor didn't know history. He knew a kind of physics that somehow didn't relate to the transphysics that we knew about. And that was the fact that there was a certain kind of fire that no water could put out. And we went before the fire hoses; we had known water. If we were Baptist or some other denomination, we had been immersed. If we were Methodist, and some others, we had been sprinkled, but we knew water.

That couldn't stop us. And we just went on before the dogs and we would look at them; and we'd go on before the water hoses and we would look at it, and we'd just go on singing. "Over my head I see freedom in the air." And then we would be thrown in the paddy wagons, and sometimes we were stacked in there like sardines in a can. And they would throw us in, and old Bull would say, "Take them off," and they did; and we would just go in the paddy wagon singing, "We Shall Overcome." And every now and then we'd get in the jail, and we'd see the jailers looking through the windows being moved by our prayers, and being moved by our words and our songs. And there was a power there which Bull Connor couldn't adjust to; and so we ended up transforming Bull into a steer, and we won our struggle in Birmingham.

Now we've got to go on to Memphis just like that. I call upon you to be with us Monday. Now about injunctions: We have an injunction and we're going into court tomorrow morning to fight this illegal, unconstitutional injunction. All we say to America is, "Be true to what you said on paper." If I lived in China or even Russia, or any totalitarian country, maybe I could understand the denial of certain basic First Amendment privileges, because they hadn't committed themselves to that over there. But somewhere I read of the freedom of assembly. Somewhere I read of the freedom of speech. Somewhere I read of the freedom of the press. Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for right. And so just as I say, we aren't going to let any injunction turn us around. We are going on.

We need all of you. And you know what's beautiful to me, is to see all of these ministers of the Gospel. It's a marvelous picture. Who is it that is supposed to articulate the longings and aspirations of the people more than the preacher? Somehow the preacher must be an Amos, and say, "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." Somehow, the preacher must say with Jesus, "The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to deal with the problems of the poor."

And I want to commend the preachers, under the leadership of these noble men: James Lawson, one who has been in this struggle for many years; he's been to jail for struggling; but he's still going on, fighting for the rights of his people. Rev. Ralph Jackson, Billy Kiles; I could just go right on down the list, but time will not permit. But I want to thank them all. And I want you to thank them, because so often, preachers aren't concerned about anything but themselves. And I'm always happy to see a relevant ministry.

It's alright to talk about "long white robes over yonder," in all of its symbolism. But ultimately people want some suits and dresses and shoes to wear down here. It's alright to talk about "streets flowing with milk and honey," but God has commanded us to be concerned about the slums down here, and his children who can't eat three square meals a day. It's alright to talk about the new Jerusalem, but one day, God's preacher must talk about the New York, the new Atlanta, the new Philadelphia, the new Los Angeles, the new Memphis, Tennessee. This is what we have to do.

Now the other thing we'll have to do is this: Always anchor our external direct action with the power of economic withdrawal. Now, we are poor people, individually, we are poor when you compare us with white society in America. We are poor. Never stop and forget that collectively, that means all of us together, collectively we are richer than all the nation in the world, with the exception of nine. Did you ever think about that? After you leave the United States, Soviet Russia, Great Britain, West Germany, France, and I could name the others, the Negro collectively is richer than most nations of the world. We have an annual income of more than thirty billion dollars a year, which is more than all of the exports of the United States, and more than the national budget of Canada. Did you know that? That's power right there, if we know how to pool it.

We don't have to argue with anybody. We don't have to curse and go around acting bad with our words. We don't need any bricks and bottles, we don't need any Molotov cocktails, we just need to go around to these stores, and to these massive industries in our country, and say, "God sent us by here, to say to you that you're not treating his children right. And we've come by here to ask you to make the first item on your agenda--fair treatment, where God's children are concerned. Now, if you are not prepared to do that, we do have an agenda that we must follow. And our agenda calls for withdrawing economic support from you."

And so, as a result of this, we are asking you tonight, to go out and tell your neighbors not to buy Coca-Cola in Memphis. Go by and tell them not to buy Sealtest milk. Tell them not to buy--what is the other bread?--Wonder Bread. And what is the other bread company, Jesse? Tell them not to buy Hart's bread. As Jesse Jackson has said, up to now, only the garbage men have been feeling pain; now we must kind of redistribute the pain. We are choosing these companies because they haven't been fair in their hiring policies; and we are choosing them because they can begin the process of saying, they are going to support the needs and the rights of these men who are on strike. And then they can move on downtown and tell Mayor Loeb to do what is right.

But not only that, we've got to strengthen black institutions. I call upon you to take you money out of the banks downtown and deposit you money in Tri-State Bank--we want a "bank-in" movement in Memphis. So go by the savings and loan association. I'm not asking you something that we don't do ourselves at SCLC. Judge Hooks and others will tell you that we have an account here in the savings and loan association from the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. We're just telling you to follow what we're doing. Put your money there. You have six or seven black insurance companies in Memphis. Take out your insurance there. We want to have an "insurance-in."

Now there are some practical things we can do. We begin the process of building a greater economic base. And at the same time, we are putting pressure where it really hurts. I ask you to follow through here.

Now, let me say as I move to my conclusion that we've got to give ourselves to this struggle until the end. Nothing would be more tragic than to stop at this point, in Memphis. We've got to see it through. And when we have our march, you need to be there. Be concerned about your brother. You may not be on strike. But either we go up together, or we go down together.

Let us develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness. One day a man came to Jesus; and he wanted to raise some questions about some vital matters in life. At points, he wanted to trick Jesus, and show him that he knew a little more than Jesus knew, and through this, throw him off base. Now that question could have easily ended up in a philosophical and theological debate. But Jesus immediately pulled that question from mid-air, and placed it on a dangerous curve between Jerusalem and Jericho. And he talked about a certain man, who fell among thieves. You remember that a Levite and a priest passed by on the other side. They didn't stop to help him. And finally a man of another race came by. He got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy. But with him, administered first aid, and helped the man in need. Jesus ended up saying, this was the good man, because he had the capacity to project the "I" into the "thou," and to be concerned about his brother. Now you know, we use our imagination a great deal to try to determine why the priest and the Levite didn't stop. At times we say they were busy going to church meetings--an ecclesiastical gathering--and they had to get on down to Jerusalem so they wouldn't be late for their meeting. At other times we would speculate that there was a religious law that "One who was engaged in religious ceremonials was not to touch a human body twenty-four hours before the ceremony." And every now and then we begin to wonder whether maybe they were not going down to Jerusalem, or down to Jericho, rather to organize a "Jericho Road Improvement Association." That's a possibility. Maybe they felt that it was better to deal with the problem from the casual root, rather than to get bogged down with an individual effort.

But I'm going to tell you what my imagination tells me. It's possible that these men were afraid. You see, the Jericho road is a dangerous road. I remember when Mrs. King and I were first in Jerusalem. We rented a car and drove from Jerusalem down to Jericho. And as soon as we got on that road, I said to my wife, "I can see why Jesus used this as a setting for his parable." It's a winding, meandering road. It's really conducive for ambushing. You start out in Jerusalem, which is about 1200 miles, or rather 1200 feet above sea level. And by the time you get down to Jericho, fifteen or twenty minutes later, you're about 2200 feet below sea level. That's a dangerous road. In the day of Jesus it came to be known as the "Bloody Pass." And you know, it's possible that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around. Or it's possible that they felt that the man on the ground was merely faking. And he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt, in order to seize them over there, lure them there for quick and easy seizure. And so the first question that the Levite asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?".

That's the question before you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" "If I do no stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.

Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you.

You know, several years ago, I was in New York City autographing the first book that I had written. And while sitting there autographing books, a demented black woman came up. The only question I heard from her was, "Are you Martin Luther King?"

And I was looking down writing, and I said yes. And the next minute I felt something beating on my chest. Before I knew it I had been stabbed by this demented woman. I was rushed to Harlem Hospital. It was a dark Saturday afternoon. And that blade had gone through, and the X-rays revealed that the tip of the blade was on the edge of my aorta, the main artery. And once that's punctured, you drown in your own blood--that's the end of you.

It came out in the New York Times the next morning, that if I had sneezed, I would have died. Well, about four days later, they allowed me, after the operation, after my chest had been opened, and the blade had been taken out, to move around in the wheel chair in the hospital. They allowed me to read some of the mail that came in, and from all over the states, and the world, kind letters came in. I read a few, but one of them I will never forget. I had received one from the President and the Vice-President. I've forgotten what those telegrams said. I'd received a visit and a letter from the Governor of New York, but I've forgotten what the letter said. But there was another letter that came from a little girl, a young girl who was a student at the White Plains High School. And I looked at that letter, and I'll never forget it. It said simply, "Dear Dr. King: I am a ninth-grade student at the Whites Plains High School." She said, "While it should not matter, I would like to mention that I am a white girl. I read in the paper of your misfortune, and of your suffering. And I read that if you had sneezed, you would have died. And I'm simply writing you to say that I'm so happy that you didn't sneeze."

And I want to say tonight, I want to say that I am happy that I didn't sneeze. Because if I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1960, when students all over the South started sitting-in at lunch counters. And I knew that as they were sitting in, they were really standing up for the best in the American dream. And taking the whole nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the Founding Fathers in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around in 1962, when Negroes in Albany, Georgia, decided to straighten their backs up. And whenever men and women straighten their backs up, they are going somewhere, because a man can't ride your back unless it is bent. If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been here in 1963, when the black people of Birmingham, Alabama, aroused the conscience of this nation, and brought into being the Civil Rights Bill. If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have had a chance later that year, in August, to try to tell America about a dream that I had had. If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been down in Selma, Alabama, to see the great movement there. If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been in Memphis to see a community rally around those brothers and sisters who are suffering. I'm so happy that I didn't sneeze.

And they were telling me, now it doesn't matter now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this morning, and as we got started on the plane, there were six of us, the pilot said over the public address system, "We are sorry for the delay, but we have Dr. Martin Luther King on the plane. And to be sure that all of the bags were checked, and to be sure that nothing would be wrong with the plane, we had to check out everything carefully. And we've had the plane protected and guarded all night."

And then I got into Memphis. And some began to say that threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

Source: http://billslater.com/mlk_last.htm

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40 years to the date of his assassination, I took some time this morning to read one of Dr. King's sermons. His very last one. I find it interesting that 40 years later, many of his hopes and dreams may not have been fully achieved yet. And maybe they never will be in this reality. But, I will do everything I can possibly can to help out.

Dr. King worked really hard to bring God's kingdom on 'earth as it is in heaven,' and everyday that goes by, I become more and more convinced that there is nothing else more satisfying to the human soul than doing that.

How am I doing today?

A question that I don't think I ask myself very often. It's a question that should ask myself several times everyday. When think about this question, then others come along:

- How is my attitude?
- How patient have I been?
- How kind have I been?
- Have I been helpful?
- Have I been able to reflect God's love?
- Have I learned anything new?
- Have I taught anything to anyone?
- How is my work?
- Am I doing what I am paid to do well enough that they will want to keep paying me for it?
- Am I being graceful, patient, loving, yet disciplining my kids?
- How's my driving? Am I risking other people's live? Or even mine?
- What am I spending my time on?
- Am I burning my life away with things that have absolutely no eternal meaning?
- Is this really worth watching?
- Should I really be doing this?
- How much self-control can I impose upon myself?
- Am I praying for my loved ones?
- Am I praying for the ones who in my 'limited-selfish' reasoning don't deserve a prayer from me?
- Am I dying a little bit more for the things of this world?
- How attached am I to things?
- How attached am I to relationships?
- How willing am I to do the right thing?
- Is the right thing what I think is right?
- Or what culture tells me is right?
- Or what the church tells me is right?
- Do I trust my common sense?
- Am I using it?
- Where is my hope?
- Do I have any peace now, when things are cozy?
- If I lost my job/house/family/health, how much peace would I still have in my heard?
- Do I only belive?
- Or do I not only believe, but follow, and act upon the things I believe on?
- Am I able to relax, and not take life too seriously?

How are you doing today?!

Day 183: 50.136% done

Day 183: 50.136% done, originally uploaded by afsilva.

We are basically at the halfway point. There is an internal argument in my house about making Luke.365 into Luke.366, since this year was a leap year, we will see.

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